There is a special place in our hearts for cult classics like He’s just not that into you (If you haven’t seen it, you’re missing of something GOOD), Someone Great (We have a super cool article about why this movie is the ultimate chick flick movie) and of course, (500) Days Of Summer.
We don’t know about you, but the first time we watched this movie was probably around 6 years ago…and since the era of #METOO, our vision of the movie has changed completely. How? Well, we were Team Tom right away, thinking that he was just a poor guy who lost his way and Summer was the evil girl who just liked to play around. But now, everything feels so different. So let’s start from the beginning:
1. “Loneliness is underrated”
Five minutes into the movie and we already see the first problem: Is it possible that we’re so used to the typical stereotype of the crazy girl in love chasing the coldhearted guy? So much so that when we see the opposite happening, we immediately blame the girl of being rude and unhappy.
Tom thought “he wouldn’t be happy without his half” and Summer, since the divorce of her parents, didn’t believe the same.
So we can’t help but wonder, is it so hard to believe that a person can be single and happy? And even more, are we still believing in unhealthy romances and idolizing people? Because we need to start falling in love with real people and not fantasies, why? Because a fantasy is just that, a fantasy. Plus, it’s time to say this out loud:
If you don’t know how to be happy on your own, you’ll never have a happy and healthy relationship.
2. Just because someone likes the same things as you doesn’t mean you’ve found your soulmate
Tom based his feelings on Summer’s beauty and “how much they have in common”: love for rock bands and good music, going to the movies and not being into art exhibitions; and music clearly became the catalyst of a relationship that clearly didn’t have much in common.
And now we wonder just like Tom: “Did the cards, movies and songs create a lie?”
It’s great to know that someone likes your favorite band but when that feeling passes, you’ll realize that shared life goals and being on the same page is the most important of all. And if Tom stopped fantasizing from the beginning and actually listened to Summer, he would have realized that she never wanted something serious. Let’s remember that iconic moment when another girl ask Tom about Summer:
-Did she cheat on you? No.
-Did she take advantage of you? No.
-Did she say she didn’t want a boyfriend? Yes.
3. Music is the best way to get a message across
If you pay attention carefully to the soundtracks surrounding the movie, you’ll realize they truly describe whatever the characters were feeling, and the ups and down of the relationships. So for Tom’s musical (after he and Summer got together) we’ll dance around You make my dreams.
One of our all time favorites, Sweet Disposition is played when they’re getting to know each other and Tom is showing her the city. The Smiths’ There Is A Light That Never Goes Out fits perfectly for that iconic elevator scene when they talk for the first time, you know, because it’s a song about getting to see the world and taking someone out. And last but not least, Vagabond to represent when Tom is finally free from his fears and taking life by the horns.
4. The architecture of happiness is more than a book, it’s a way of living
Tom was so obsessed with Summer and took everything personal, so even when she was just saying that she was ok…he thought it meant she was happy without him. So instead of fantasizing with people, let’s ask ourselves what love is? Maybe it’s a person with strong will, strong arms, flowers and chocolates, “a light that gives you hope” (get the reference?) or maybe just someone who you feel comfortable with.
You’re your own builder of happiness, so let’s be more like Tom’s sister Rachel: straightforward, focused on your own happiness and always remember that liking the same music is hardly a good reason to date someone.
5. It’s ok to be sad after a breakup, but life goes on
Being sad is ok and breakups are just part of love, let’s see it as an opportunity to grow and be better. Because Tom clearly took it bad, lost his way and thought his life was worthless.
It’s ok to grieve, there is no recipe to make that process easier but what’s sure is that life always goes on; and saying that, we get to our final big lesson from (500) Days Of Summer:
Your happiness cannot depend on somebody else
It’s not only impossible, but unfair to the other person. They can’t never give you what you can only give to yourself, and remember, the most important relationship you will have is with yourself.